Labooko Zotter Kaffee

The St John Betjeman train

Southend-on-Sea, reminds me of an old mans mouth slightly fleshy, watery and slack after years of consuming too many sugary donuts and greasy fish n chips. A face battered by strong oily winds blowing in across the Thames estuary from Canvey Island. Teeth resembling a mix of slightly yellowing crowns, a few unsightly gaps, the odd blackened incisor and finally a splattering of pearly white shinners that are so intense they blind you with their brilliance. Southend-on-Sea, similar to Las Vegas is perhaps better seen at night. 

Dream Machine Classic Lancia Flaminia

Southend pier is without doubt a 'pearly white' if we are to continue the mouth teeth thing... It is the longest pleasure pier in the world and a Grade 2 listed building with amazing views of mudflats that extend for miles. 

Apparently, in the 19th century wealthy tourists would not stop at Southend preferring to birth their yachts at Margate thus avoiding the mud. In the olden days, when Councils had bright ideas, they decided to build this lengthy piece of wood into the estuary. This meant you could dock your schooner at anytime without having to worry about tides or mud, for that matter. 

The pier has its own train that runs up and down the whole length but you can walk the 7,080 ft for £1 and back again after a rest on the sundeck. 

This is not Jamie's Cafe

Disappointingly, Jamie Oliver's cafe looked as though it had seen better days. The film production team had long left and the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Jonathan Ross and friend Jimmy Doherty had obviously moved elsewhere. Jamie Oliver refurbished the cafe in 2013, turning it into an ice-cream parlour. Not much going on now? Well, who needs Jamie Oliver when you can have fantastic views of mudflats, big ships, Curlews and Oystercatchers!  

ACHTUNG nicht essen!

Ok, lets talk about chocolate from Zotter. I purchased this bar of Zotter Kaffee from a fantastic market in Vienna several months ago and as all the packaging is written in German I can't tell you too much about it. However, Zotter does have a good tip and warns you not to eat the chocolate unless you follow his top tip, "If you want to be a fine chocolate maker then you must not chew the chocolate but, enjoy the melting". Well something like that...

This has to be one of the most straightforward and underwhelming chocolates I've ever tasted from Zotter. Perhaps that's the point.....If it hadn't been for the packaging I'd find it hard to believe it was from Zotter. A million miles away from 'Plum and Caramelised Bacon'. I can only say the milk chocolate is smooth, creamy and sweet with a delicious and inoffensive coffee flavour. The packaging is probably the best thing about this bar but I did polish off both bars!

Labooko 2 Bars - Zotter Coffee